Where I’m from, it’s tradition and sign of good luck to eat black eyed peas on New Year’s Eve. I, however, overlooked this custom this year. I didn’t simply ignore the consuming of these “good luck peas”, I just forgot. But really, when you think about it, it can’t ACTUALLY bring me good luck… Or can it?
Well, since the New Year began, I have endured a string of very bad luck – and I’m attributing this bad luck to my negligence in eating the black eyed peas.
Let’s start at the beginning…
On New Year’s Eve, when people normally hit the town and party in the New Year, I was in a Nyquil coma. I didn’t even see the infamous ball drop from my TV. So, I didn’t get to welcome the New Year with friends or family. Instead I welcomed it with an empty box of Kleenex and chicken noodle soup.
So, the work week starts. I arrive to work on Tuesday morning, still feeling quite under the weather. However, I made it through the work day, only to discover on my way out the door at 5 o’clock that I had a flat tire. Rotten luck, indeed.
Then Wednesday rolls around and my sickness comes back with a vengeance. I only made it to work long enough for everyone to agree and collaborate that I was too sick to be at work. So I went home. But, on my way home I stopped at a store to purchase some more Kleenex, medicine and orange juice. I stood in line with my meager products, feeling just as bad as anyone could feel. The woman in line in front of me was yelling at her child named “Miracle” for wallowing on the ground and then nearly flipping their buggy. And the woman at the register is what I like to call – a crazy coupon lady. At one point, she had the little cashier void so many items that I heard the words, “Oh, no. I may have to ring your whole purchase up again.” If that would have happened, I can guarantee you that little Miracle wouldn’t have been the only person wallowing the floor and flipping buggies. But, luckily, her order finished without delay after this and I got out of there shortly after that – only to spend the rest of the day in another Nyquil coma.
Well, then we have Thursday. Oh, Thursday. The bane of my existence, Thursday. It was a foggy morning and I was running late for work. I couldn’t see the road as I was pulling out of my neighborhood, so I rolled my window down. I pulled easily out on the road and began my journey to work. It was a cold morning too, might I add. So, I tried to roll my window up, and I tried again, and again – to no avail. My driver’s side window was stuck – ALL THE WAY DOWN. So, I had to drive all the way to work with my window down. Naturally, when I arrived at work, my hair was in such a disarray that it looked like a family of squirrels had made a permanent home inside my hair. I left my car in the parking lot, window down, all day long. And then I drove home, window down, almost all the way home. Right before I arrived to my street, the blue lights start flashing behind me. As I slow to pull over I hear the officer announce over his loud speaker, “Ma’am, pull over in the next parking lot, immediately!”
Well you don’t have to yell.
So, I pulled over.
And not just one cop car pulled up behind me, but two. Because I must be some kind of heartless criminal that will command my pet squirrels to attack.
I had a headlight out. A HEADLIGHT OUT!!
And, after nearly crying to the officer about how terrible my week has been, he handed me my ticket and said, “Well, sounds like you’ve had a bad start to the New Year. You must have forgotten to eat your black eyed peas.”
Black eyed peas. From now on, I’m going to eat black eyed peas with every meal. I’m going to listen to the black eyed peas all day long. I’m going to name my first born child, black eyed peas. And, for the love of all things sacred, I will never forget to eat black eyed peas on New Year’s Eve ever again!
P.S. I have ANOTHER flat tire as I type this. I’m going to ignore it and hope it goes away.